She is Allowed to Puke (Throw-Up) on Me

Daughter as a First Baby and People in My Village

When I became father of a baby-Girl, people in our village commiserated with my wife and nobody congratulated me. Aiza arrived at dawn as the last star blinked out. We Pashtuns see this as an auspicious sign. Aiza was a girl in a land where rifles are fired in celebration of a son, while daughters are hidden away behind a curtain, their role in life simply to prepare food and give birth to children. For most Pashtuns it's a gloomy day when a daughter is born. However’ I didn't care. There are some social myths that the first baby as a Girl is sign of bad-luck. They could have followed-up the Old Arab Tradition, where the Girl used to be buried alive, right after her birth, but the Constitution Push and some educational dozes. However; we still find some norms and values in the rural part of Pakistan. They should not be any way.  

One Yellow Afternoon, I was accompanied by few of my friends and they threw this topic, that being the father of first baby-Girl is sign of bad-Luck. I did not believe in it, but still I have started judging my luck after I become father of Aiza khan. It’s been 8 Months now; I have not found anything bad-comings on my way. What I believe in, that sometime things are just stories, they don’t have any attachments with reality. If someone asked me, that how many boys will I have to take to give Aiza to them, I will say, She is a Priceless Doll of my life.

My Wife Loves My Daughter More than I Love (No)

When your One-year-old climbs onto your lap and realize you, “Do you love me the best, Mama?” … what do you say? “Well, yes, but not as much as I love your Daddy?” I don’t think so. And yet, when I got pregnant, I received some not-so-gentle advice from the older women in my life: “You’re going to love this baby more than life itself. Just don’t tell your husband” said one. “You don’t want to neglect your husband, dear. Let him know he’s still the most important person in your world,” said another.But, I didn’t take their arguably sage advice. Here’s why.Parents who disagreed about making a baby, parents who were complacent about the process, and parents who never had the chance to plan (the so-called “oops” pregnancy) were much more likely to struggle post-birth.

When I gave birth to my daughter, we weren’t looking to fix our marriage with a baby. We weren’t on two different pages—one of us baby-hungry and the other just going along for the ride. We (yes, both of us) wanted to be parents, which left us both open to falling in love; this time that all-consuming love you have for your child. And while we loved (and still love) each other, when we looked at the little bundle placed in my arms in the delivery room, we were both hopelessly, totally gone. We love each other as two best friends who have shared  passion and triumph. We found our other halves, and we are fulfilled. And we love our daughter, too. Fiercely. And in ways that we can’t love each other. It’s partly because we created her—although I firmly believe that parents who adopt have as strong a claim to the love of a child as we do. It’s also because we chose her. We actively made a decision to become parents. My husband and I became parents because we want to give everything we have to our daughter, and the reward will be watching her walk down a graduation aisle, get married have children of her own. When she makes a mistake or lets us down, it doesn’t decrease the love, it makes us work harder. Together we fell in love and made a child. Together, we fell in love with that child. As my husband says, “it’s just a different kind of love completely.” He calls how he feels about our daughter a complete attachment, a bond that he never saw coming and yet can’t imagine being without. He picked me (well, he asked me out!), he dated me, and he slowly fell in love with me, but he loved our daughter from the second she came screeching into the world. So when my 1-year-old works her way into my lap and asks, “Do you love me the best Mama?” I wrap my arms around her and reassure her, “Yup, Mommy loves you more than anything else in the whole wide world.”

How Enough is Enough Sleep

It's been Eight Months now, that Aiza is following one fix-routine to sleep. Throughout her sleeping routine is 18-20 Hours, out of 24 Hours.  She sleeps earlier that can wake up earlier than the Sun. The interesting moment about her is, when she wakes up, her face and eyes are so much beautiful. The first thing at morning, when she wakes up, is to speak a different language stories, and remain lying on the bed till her Mom gets up, without crying and disturbing her. That’s the Good part of her life, so far.

Love for my Daughter

My beautiful daughter, I was blessed with of you...
You will never know how proud I am of all the things you do.

You came into my world, so tiny and so small...
And I was in awe at the wonder of it all.

Then you placed your little hand in mine...
There was no denying, my heart was yours 'til the end of time.

I have watched you both throughout the years, laugh, cry and grow...
And it is difficult to know that someday I will have to let you go.

I just can't imagine a day of my life without you...
Because you're a part of me and my love for you is true.

So just remember, no matter how old you are or where you may be...
There's someone who needs you and loves you and that someone is me!

My Daughter and Their Kids

I don't know where to start things from; there is a big list to write about. Gone are the days, when I was un-married and used to give enough time to my nieces and nephews. I used to teach them, used to get them good gifts, used to take them out, on walking, used to play games with them, regularly following them in their schools, School’s syllabus and other co-curricular activities. I used to put my 100% to groom them confident enough, build their capacity in a positive way and last but not the least used to take them to my circles to get them kind of socialized. Sincerity, care and love for them have been my top priority. Those days even their parents used to appreciate me, for being so.

Now when I become a father of baby Girl (Aiza khan), no body cares of her, she smiles to every one, and get nothing out of it in response, even a smile back. She looks at every-body at home and people just pass by, as if there is no one smiling to them. Keeping everything aside, I don’t ask them to get back what I have done for them, but at least consider her, part of the family, that’s my question from them. I wish I could teach Aiza, not to smile to un-authorized and unqualified people at home. I wish I could teach her, that in this materialistic world, you can just find the unconditional love and care form your own parents, but Kids are Kids, they are way innocent. So I have decided to grow up my daughter in a very alienated environment, where she can grow up, with dignity and bold self-made entity. Because self-done is well done. It shocks me from head to toe, when she smiles with out being noticed. Dude she is my Daughter, my life and my love, not a elevator to use and Just pass through.  

We shaved her Head

There, have been electoral democratic arguments between my wife, to either shave or shave not Aiza’s head. I was in the favor, to shave her head, for obvious reasons, i.e. fresh hairs, to avoid the dandruff, lice and falling of hairs, while my wife was in favor of not shaving it, due to the cold weather and not giving a girlish good look. We have built arguments for about two days, and finally we put the third party (Aiza’s Grand-Mom) to decide whose idea is more powerful. She being an Experience lady; convinced my wife that shaving head at this age gives fresh out comes. So keeping the democratic process, my wife submitted herself to our idea and decision was finally taken. Now the second part was, where and who will shave her head? If we could take her to the barbershop, of course she might be have caused to disturb others by crying, and if we could have called the barber to home, of course that would have been a long process again. So we finally decided that when goes asleep, her Grand-Mom will shave her head. We were no doubt afraid that Grand Mom of Aiza might not hurt her. We hold our heart and handed over Aiza to her Grand-Mom and went out for the time being and with-in Just 8 minutes, she shaved her head, with out a single Cut. Wow. We impressed. We went on Shopping to buy new warm cloths for Aiza and some hot caps to keep her warm, but again the hot cap, catches her head the way, no one can imagine. But with shaved head, Aiza is really looking cuter than before. 

Good Luck Aiza khan

My Daughter to Me :)

A girl’s father is one of the most influential people in her life, from infant to toddler to tween to teen. Learn why Dad has such a big impact on his little girl’s development into a strong, confident woman.

A father's influence in his daughter's life shapes her self-esteem, self-image, confidence and opinions of men. How Dad approaches life will serve as an example for his daughter to build off of in her own life, even if she chooses a different view of the world.

Dads and daughters: From infant to toddler

We now live in a culture where Dad is an equal partner in care giving. From day one, dads are encouraged to be hands-on, changing diapers, giving baths, putting Baby to sleep and calming her cries. That presence and effort is the beginning of a very important relationship.

According to Austin, this quality time together is crucial at all stages of a girl's life. "Dads need to spend time with their infant daughter, taking care of her physical needs and supporting her Mom," he explains. And once the little lady starts toddling around, " it's essential that Dad gets down on the floor — on her level — and plays with her," Austin says.

Fathers and daughters: From tween to teen

It's those pesky "hormonal" years that can often have dads shying away from their moody and sometimes standoffish daughter. When there's a tween girl in the house, "dads should focus on cultivating a trusting relationship so that their daughters feel secure talking with them about what's going on in their lives," Austin explains. "When necessary, dads should apologize and ask for forgiveness, as this both shows respect and love to our daughters and heals the hurts that are inevitable in daily life together."

As a girl continues to grow and her teen years become fraught with complicated issues, dads should continue to work on building a trusting relationship, give affection and support her as she learns more about who she is and what kind of person she wants to become, Austin says. "It's imperative that, no matter what, dads avoid the temptation to pull away or withdraw during this sometimes challenging stage of growing up."

A father's influence on a daughter's self-image

A dad's involvement in his daughter's life is a crucial ingredient in the development of a young woman's self-esteem. Austin identifies positive elements of "common sense" parenting for dads so they can help support their daughter's self-image and curb any possibility of low self-esteem: Verbal encouragement, being consistently present in her life, being alert and sensitive to her feelings, taking time to listen to her thoughts and taking an active interest in her hobbies. "It's important to actually do these things, which can sometimes be quite challenging," Austin adds. Direct involvement and encouragement by her father will help diminish a girl's insecurity and increase her confidence in her own abilities.

How dads influence their daughter's relationships

The type of men that women date and have long-term relationships with is also directly related to the kind of relationship a girl has with her father. Obviously, the hope is that the father figure in a girl's life will aim to skew that young lady's opinions of men in a positive way. "He must, first and foremost, treat his daughter with respect and love. Whether or not he is married to or still together with his daughter's mom, showing respect to her mother is essential as well," explains Austin. "He must also value women as human beings, and not as persons to be used. Daughters will see what their dads believe about women by how they value and respect women, or by how they fail to do so."