She Grows Up

Just popping in to say hello! I am due for our 9 months update and struggling to find time to write it. So I’m going to have to make this one much more brief than usual, but I guess it’s better than nothing!

Baby talk:

Baby talk is in full force. She says dada, mama, yaya, nana, baba, etc. on the regular. It’s super cute! She calls, everyone by dada right now…haha…but occasionally she’ll say mama when looking at me (or when crying)! She loves to scream at the top of her lungs when she’s tired. I call it a protest cry! It sounds like AHHHHHHHHHH, AHHHHH, AHHHH. When she’s happy after a good sleep, she “sing-songs” her baby talk. Melts my heart every single time. I said to my Wife, it’ll be so sad when she doesn’t talk like this anymore! It’s such a cute stage. She still loves to growl. She growls when she’s being a “stinker” and wants to play or be silly. We just never know what sound is going to come out of her mouth! She is quite vocal! She still likes making “poooooof” noises by blowing air through her lips. Her personality is emerging more and more these days. She is very active, always wants to be moving, and dislikes being held more and more. She stopped going in carriers and wraps months ago because she just squirms and wants out. She is happiest when she is on the move and playing. Loves going out and seeing people so we try to do that lots! She is also very curious, observant, playful, and easy-going (with a fierce stubborn streak). When she wants something, she wants something. Sounds just like her mama!

Waving:

She LOVES to wave. At us, the cat, strangers. It’s maybe the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!!! Melts my heart.

Sleep:

She has slept through the night about 8-9 times over the past 9 months (but who’s counting?? haha…My wife!). Before 8 months hit, Aiza used to go down to bed quite easily. The past couple months putting her down at night has been a struggle. She will often fuss or cry and refuse to go to sleep. Sometimes it’s a good 1-2 hours before she is finally asleep. She seems to be going through big developmental leaps right now so I’m sure those don’t help. We have never sleep trained and I hope things improve naturally. Still taking 2 naps a day. Lately she has been refusing naps once in a while which she never did before. It’s still hard to read her sometimes. Is she sleepy or not? Overtired or not tired enough to nap? I would’ve thought we’d have it down by now, but every week it changes! We take it day by day. When she does nap they tend to be 1 hour each. Once in a while we’ll get 2 hours out of her, but 1 hour is the norm.

Teeth:

Two teeth yet. I can’t believe it. I think we have finally given up saying, “I think she is going to cut her third and fourth tooth any day now.” Maybe she will be one of those late bloomers that cuts a bunch of teeth at 11 months?

On the move:

As I mentioned in the 8 month update, she is crawling. She’s quite fast now and we have to watch her like a hawk! She’s into every thaaaaang!!! We did some baby-proofing last month, but there will be more to come.

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She is Allowed to Puke (Throw-Up) on Me

Daughter as a First Baby and People in My Village

When I became father of a baby-Girl, people in our village commiserated with my wife and nobody congratulated me. Aiza arrived at dawn as the last star blinked out. We Pashtuns see this as an auspicious sign. Aiza was a girl in a land where rifles are fired in celebration of a son, while daughters are hidden away behind a curtain, their role in life simply to prepare food and give birth to children. For most Pashtuns it's a gloomy day when a daughter is born. However’ I didn't care. There are some social myths that the first baby as a Girl is sign of bad-luck. They could have followed-up the Old Arab Tradition, where the Girl used to be buried alive, right after her birth, but the Constitution Push and some educational dozes. However; we still find some norms and values in the rural part of Pakistan. They should not be any way.  

One Yellow Afternoon, I was accompanied by few of my friends and they threw this topic, that being the father of first baby-Girl is sign of bad-Luck. I did not believe in it, but still I have started judging my luck after I become father of Aiza khan. It’s been 8 Months now; I have not found anything bad-comings on my way. What I believe in, that sometime things are just stories, they don’t have any attachments with reality. If someone asked me, that how many boys will I have to take to give Aiza to them, I will say, She is a Priceless Doll of my life.

My Wife Loves My Daughter More than I Love (No)

When your One-year-old climbs onto your lap and realize you, “Do you love me the best, Mama?” … what do you say? “Well, yes, but not as much as I love your Daddy?” I don’t think so. And yet, when I got pregnant, I received some not-so-gentle advice from the older women in my life: “You’re going to love this baby more than life itself. Just don’t tell your husband” said one. “You don’t want to neglect your husband, dear. Let him know he’s still the most important person in your world,” said another.But, I didn’t take their arguably sage advice. Here’s why.Parents who disagreed about making a baby, parents who were complacent about the process, and parents who never had the chance to plan (the so-called “oops” pregnancy) were much more likely to struggle post-birth.

When I gave birth to my daughter, we weren’t looking to fix our marriage with a baby. We weren’t on two different pages—one of us baby-hungry and the other just going along for the ride. We (yes, both of us) wanted to be parents, which left us both open to falling in love; this time that all-consuming love you have for your child. And while we loved (and still love) each other, when we looked at the little bundle placed in my arms in the delivery room, we were both hopelessly, totally gone. We love each other as two best friends who have shared  passion and triumph. We found our other halves, and we are fulfilled. And we love our daughter, too. Fiercely. And in ways that we can’t love each other. It’s partly because we created her—although I firmly believe that parents who adopt have as strong a claim to the love of a child as we do. It’s also because we chose her. We actively made a decision to become parents. My husband and I became parents because we want to give everything we have to our daughter, and the reward will be watching her walk down a graduation aisle, get married have children of her own. When she makes a mistake or lets us down, it doesn’t decrease the love, it makes us work harder. Together we fell in love and made a child. Together, we fell in love with that child. As my husband says, “it’s just a different kind of love completely.” He calls how he feels about our daughter a complete attachment, a bond that he never saw coming and yet can’t imagine being without. He picked me (well, he asked me out!), he dated me, and he slowly fell in love with me, but he loved our daughter from the second she came screeching into the world. So when my 1-year-old works her way into my lap and asks, “Do you love me the best Mama?” I wrap my arms around her and reassure her, “Yup, Mommy loves you more than anything else in the whole wide world.”

How Enough is Enough Sleep

It's been Eight Months now, that Aiza is following one fix-routine to sleep. Throughout her sleeping routine is 18-20 Hours, out of 24 Hours.  She sleeps earlier that can wake up earlier than the Sun. The interesting moment about her is, when she wakes up, her face and eyes are so much beautiful. The first thing at morning, when she wakes up, is to speak a different language stories, and remain lying on the bed till her Mom gets up, without crying and disturbing her. That’s the Good part of her life, so far.

Love for my Daughter

My beautiful daughter, I was blessed with of you...
You will never know how proud I am of all the things you do.

You came into my world, so tiny and so small...
And I was in awe at the wonder of it all.

Then you placed your little hand in mine...
There was no denying, my heart was yours 'til the end of time.

I have watched you both throughout the years, laugh, cry and grow...
And it is difficult to know that someday I will have to let you go.

I just can't imagine a day of my life without you...
Because you're a part of me and my love for you is true.

So just remember, no matter how old you are or where you may be...
There's someone who needs you and loves you and that someone is me!

My Daughter and Their Kids

I don't know where to start things from; there is a big list to write about. Gone are the days, when I was un-married and used to give enough time to my nieces and nephews. I used to teach them, used to get them good gifts, used to take them out, on walking, used to play games with them, regularly following them in their schools, School’s syllabus and other co-curricular activities. I used to put my 100% to groom them confident enough, build their capacity in a positive way and last but not the least used to take them to my circles to get them kind of socialized. Sincerity, care and love for them have been my top priority. Those days even their parents used to appreciate me, for being so.

Now when I become a father of baby Girl (Aiza khan), no body cares of her, she smiles to every one, and get nothing out of it in response, even a smile back. She looks at every-body at home and people just pass by, as if there is no one smiling to them. Keeping everything aside, I don’t ask them to get back what I have done for them, but at least consider her, part of the family, that’s my question from them. I wish I could teach Aiza, not to smile to un-authorized and unqualified people at home. I wish I could teach her, that in this materialistic world, you can just find the unconditional love and care form your own parents, but Kids are Kids, they are way innocent. So I have decided to grow up my daughter in a very alienated environment, where she can grow up, with dignity and bold self-made entity. Because self-done is well done. It shocks me from head to toe, when she smiles with out being noticed. Dude she is my Daughter, my life and my love, not a elevator to use and Just pass through.