Aiza and Zarak: Growing Up, Fighting, and Everything in Between

Watching your kids grow up can be a beautiful, yet complex experience. Every parent will tell you that the dynamics between siblings can swing wildly between moments of love and frustration. And in our house, this couldn’t be truer for Aiza and her brother Zarak.

Aiza, the older sibling, has taken on an unexpected role – a second mom to her little brother. While this might sound sweet to some, Zarak doesn’t think so. In fact, it’s not just sweet little guidance; it’s Aiza’s intense brand of supervision that sparks daily battles between the two. They fight like cats and dogs, leaving the house filled with heated arguments and slammed doors. Yet, beneath the surface, there’s a deep bond that neither of them will admit to.

Aiza’s Growing Role as the “Second Mom”

Being the elder sister comes with a sense of responsibility, and Aiza has embraced that role fully – maybe a little too much. She constantly feels the need to look out for her brother, and while she does it with the best of intentions, it’s not always well-received. From policing his homework to setting limits on his playtime, Aiza plays the part of a miniature parent, which, as you can imagine, doesn’t sit well with Zarak.  He’s just trying to be a kid, but with Aiza breathing down his neck like a hawk, their disagreements turn into full-fledged sibling wars. It’s a cycle that’s both hilarious and exhausting to witness.

The Constant Battles

As much as they bicker and fight, there’s an underlying love that comes through, even in their most intense moments. They yell, they argue, and they push each other’s buttons – but at the end of the day, they couldn’t live without one another. It's an interesting dynamic, but in a way, it’s just how they express their sibling bond. 

But sometimes, it’s hard to watch. I can’t help but step in and mediate their fights, knowing full well that they’ll go back to loving and laughing with each other in just a few moments.

Aiza’s New School – A New Chapter

On top of all the sibling drama, Aiza is experiencing her own growth in other areas. She recently started at a new school, one that offers her better opportunities and a nurturing environment. This change has been a breath of fresh air for her, and I can see her blossoming in ways I hadn’t anticipated. She’s more confident, more independent, and is starting to find her own path in life.

While I’m thrilled to see her grow and thrive, there’s a bittersweetness to it all. My little girl isn’t so little anymore. Each day she seems to be turning into a more mature, intelligent young woman, and I can’t help but feel a twinge of sadness. She’s growing up beautifully – too beautifully, if you ask me.

The Emotional Tug of Watching Her Grow

As a parent, it’s hard to describe the emotions that come with watching your child grow up. On one hand, there’s pride – Aiza is becoming her own person, smart and capable, navigating the world with grace. But on the other hand, there’s a certain kind of heartbreak. The little girl I used to hold in my arms is now growing into a strong, independent young woman, and I can’t stop the clock.

It’s funny how we want them to grow, yet wish they would stay small forever. Aiza’s transition to her new school has been a pivotal moment, and while I don’t like how fast she’s growing, I know this is just part of the journey.

Zarak’s Struggle with the Changes

Zarak, too, is navigating this shift. He’s not a fan of Aiza’s “second mom” role, and the changes in her behavior have added to their friction. But even though they fight, he looks up to her in ways that are hard to express. His frustration comes from a place of wanting his own space to grow, without feeling like he’s constantly being watched or judged by his older sister.

Their relationship will evolve, just as they are both evolving, but right now, it’s a whirlwind of emotions and growing pains.

The Beautiful Chaos of It All

In the end, it’s this beautiful chaos that defines our household. Aiza and Zarak will continue to bicker and challenge each other, but they will also grow together in ways that will bond them for life. Aiza’s journey into becoming her own person, despite the fights, is a reminder that growing up is messy, but it’s also incredibly rewarding.

And as for me? I’ll be here, caught between wanting to slow time down and embracing the incredible individuals they’re both becoming.

Aiza in Karachi

This blog is coming late due to the movement we made lately. It has been 22 days that we are moved to another city called Karachi. This city is more crowded, with more potential than the city I have been living in previously. I shifted with family, which has got me through a tough time, in term of house, house compliances, car, office hours, friend circle and bhala bhala bhala.

The only hurdle was, to deal with Aiza schooling – will we figure out her schooling or informal growth in the new city, where we don’t have potential relatives or siblings. Covid-19 is still a barrier to her schooling – be that was in Islamabad or Karachi.  

We then figured out that she will be going to a Tuition Center, which will make her engaged in the learning process either way. Though the daily routine of Aiza has been affected so badly, but I believe she is learning so many other things. She wakes up, eats breakfast, leaves for religious learnings to the nearby Bralvi Madrassah, where she is building a different network. She stays there for about 2 hours. The lovely thing about her – that she attends the Madrassah with full-body covered with Hijab (Funny no), as per the Madrassah’s requirements are.  Upon her return, She goes to another Tuition. Since she does not have proper books and the tuition center is not formally registered so she for the sake of networking attends the Tuition center.

The only thing she is more excited about is going out in the evening – she loves being on the beach and Parks. She is growing very differently and beautifully. The only thing I am happy about her growth is that she is socializing with others and that too in their languages – Urdu.

I love you Aiza so differently and I wish I could express this to you :) 

 

  

Aiza's daily life

By Each passing day, she – Aiza is turning mature, understanding, cooperative, and coordinative toward her brother [Zarak Khan] and Father in particular and, I would say she is going a bit in competition with her mother, for no reason. But generally, she is touchier to her, in many other cases.

During COVID-19 her daily routine was abrupted to an extent, which is getting back on track in Post COVID-19. She is wakes-up by 7 am, get prepared for school, hang her bags on the shoulder, and leave for school with her Mother [ Her mother looks after her school e.g dropping, picking from school, helping her in Homework, Lunch-box and her hygiene things]. She stays in school for almost 4 hours [Five days a week] and come back with a lot of stories from school.

There were days when I used to drop and pick her from school and on the way, we used to sit somewhere on the bank of road and she used to narrate me so many stories happened with her in school.

One of her stories she narrated upon returning home from School this Monday is: That day she had Chicken-Parata in lunch-box, splatted in two parts. Upon opening the Lunch-box during the break, her colleagues without asking her, taken half of her Parata, and she did not resist it. She is a sensitive person when it comes to deal with insensitive people. She collects so many contents upon returning from school.  Why her parents don’t teach her not to snatch food from colleagues, Aiza stated.

Previously, her Ma’am / Class-teacher used to eat half of her food and forced her no to tell her parents, and, believe you me that is what we come to know very much later, but by then she had passed to another class [Nursery]  

Sometime she comes with so interesting stories and narrates me at night when I return home after my office and interestingly, we make fun of those stories.

Anyway, when she comes back from School, eat her lunch again, and then start home- working, as she is so much excited and overwhelmed by her new books, note-books, work-books, new classmates, and class-teacher. She takes it seriously and respond well to the question posed on her when I discuss things with her.

Interestingly she has found-out some friends around the vicinity and they play well in the park after 5 PM. She comes back to eat her dinner and sleep earlier to get-up the next morning. I’m considering myself a lucky father to deal with a sensitive kid and we both are growing up very sophisticatedly in every walk of life.

 

 

 

Covid-19 and Aiza Khan

As like other school-going-kids across the globe, Aiza has also been one among those, to stay home. She stayed home for almost 7 months, which has ruined her daily routine, food routine, home-work, and other co-curricular activities. 

Sleeping late at night, getting up late in the daytime, getting more irritating, and less-cooperative with siblings [Zarak Khan]. Though her mother supported her in home-work that was a lesser-effective effort. I believe that parents play a specific role to educate and groom the kids, that's why I don't believe in home-schooling. Yes, this would have been a different case if we setup-ed family trips/traveling across the country during the Lock-down in the country. The misfortune was that I did not have a car during the Lock-down era. 

I have tried to engage her in some healthy activities, such as how to cooperate with siblings [Zarak], but that too did not work. I have tried to engage her in filming videos, but that too works initially, not in the later phase, she got fed-up. Though on strong insist she comes up with few videos on TikTok, which I will try to put her around.  

The only characteristic I have been observing in her personality built, she is advising/suggesting us, when called or uncalled. For instance Dad, why don't you buy this car, Father, I like you to bring me this thing. I tried to make her sit with me on the bank of roads, street, tried to engage her in stories, which somehow worked too. 

Her urge towards Parks, traveling, outing in general for food has built faster, as compared to pre-COVID-19. During this Covid-19 Aiza discovered Khan-Pur dam, Charsadda, Mingora Swat, multiple parks, and parks around the sector. 

Happy 5th Birthday to Aiza Khan

I am really not prepared mentally and time passes like on the speed of velocity. Just five years back I was Just married, I just had a wife and that’s it. You extended my family by being with your existence. Exactly five years back I become a father and that is too of a daughter, what else could be more joyful and fantastic than this. I was more excited to have a daughter who I wanted to grow her my way. When I say raising her my way seems a bit imposing but I wanted her to grow her and that is my way.

I am getting successful up-to 75% that I have not snatched her childhood, did not put her in school at an early age and did not put her in hot water. Made her get up when she completes her sleep and so on.

These five years have been so wonderful that I can’t even begin to imagine about, I have tried my extreme level best to fulfil your small and tiny wishes, such as getting Dunk & Donut, give your dolls, take you out to Park and let you watch her choice of the cartoon. How can I forget to mention that making your TikTok is another level of joy? Your posing for a picture is out of my words.

Today you turned five and celebrated your birth in Lahore with your grandees, of course, I missed your birthday, been not able to hug you, but I wish you many returns of the day.

Aiza I will never ever forget that you made me a father. You taught me management, patience, built my capacity and made me feel to be the friend of yours

Peace be upon you, my love 

Finally Aiza at School.

Yes! There are still 49 days to go that Aiza will turn to 5 years. She has lived her childhood, not being too spoiled nether too introverted. She was a girl to get up whatever time, she felt like in the day time, whatever she wanted I provided her, she listens to me and those golden days are fading away.  I admitted her in the school due to social pressure, everyone had the opportunity to be telling which school does she study in, why did not you let go to school, etc.  I have admitted her to a school near my house. I have visited many schools prior to her admission to the school, in which I found Dar-e-Arqam the best due to a system they have and location wise.

The day before she practically goes to school, I bought her uniform and some other important requirements for school. I made her sleep with me that I can get her up, prepare her and go to school.

Early in the morning she was excited which really motivated me that it will not be upsetting. Today she got up earlier than her usual time and got prepared. Me and my wife went with her to the school and let her begin following teachers/madams.

I dropped my wife back home and visited her school again and sat outside the school for an hour or so and then come back home with a heavy heart. It was too hard not to find Aiza in the house, trying to get settled but could not do it.

I rushed down to my house and started the car and went to her school and took her back home. On the way back she said, that it is too great to be in school, I am going to make some friends and I also finished my donut in school.

She is sleeping now and I am watching at her face, it gives me extra pleasure that she is growing up and stabilizing me emotionally.

Every father may be having some emotional attachments to his daughter, I know this is awkward to write something like that, but I can’t stop myself.

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